This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
