now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize