honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I wanna passion pit in your ass
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
