she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
