Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
