I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
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I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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