I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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