We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
