I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
It was confusing and full of hummus
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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