My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I need a beard to bite.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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