Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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