i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
