you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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