The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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