You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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