Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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