Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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