Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
