Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
