OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
She's the barista slut.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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