maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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