hotel room ftw
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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