you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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