this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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