forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize