I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
