hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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