White coat. Heels.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
