so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
