I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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