You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
