Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
