Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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