I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
