Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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