dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
