its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
