it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize