I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
