just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
