Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
