Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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