also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
