Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
