All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Are we still banned from the library?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
