the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
