it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
