??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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