you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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