I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I think I just sharted jello shots
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