he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
