After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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