i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
