What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Everyone says I win the strip club
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
