Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
