i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
