The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
