Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
