Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize