Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
