your thong is hanging out like whoa
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
