I murdered the dance floor call the cops
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
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