What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize