rhymes with "ouble enetration"
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
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