you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
