I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
