I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
