Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
